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New challenges

 Can't believe this is my first on 2021, and it's March already.  This time last year I was in Glasgow for a meeting which was disrupted by an urgent HIS  staff meet in Edinburgh to announce home working and the release of clinical support to the coal face. And we're in lockdown a year later, all be it, with a slight respite at the end of the summer to allow us to move the COVID (or covis) around the country/world. Second COVID jab later this week, so should be well protected fairly soon. Unfortunately we won't be binning the face masks quite yet.....need more data.  So far this year, Nicky Gumbel has been getting me through each day with BIOY app playing in my ears on the evening Bracken walk. Bracken is on daily omeprazole, but still sometimes doesn't want his breakfast or dinner. No idea what's going on with him but he's been well checked out and isn't losing weight, so I think he's just being a bracken. Mother is also on a similar drug regime and...
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Remembrance 2020

Remembrance Sunday was different this year for lots of reasons. Well, everything's different this year, but remembrance had a special poignancy this year. At the front door in relative silence with only another two couples sharing the moment, we just remembered. Not with any links to the forces; not even with much feeling of thankfulness for those who had gone before (well a bit......limited by our poor understanding of their reality) but kind of united in remembering and missing our dads. I took a few moments at his grave later in the afternoon, but didn't mention to anyone, although part of me wanted to......why is that? Did I want people to know? Would I be looking for their respect, or praise or even just recognition that I did something they hadn't thought about......well done me? Ah well. No point now. I do want the headstone up though. I want to mark the place. I want to stand in silence and look and read and cry. And be thankful. And feel a little sorry and sad for ...
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That young man

 It wiznae me. What's Gillian's second name? Brown No! That's not it.  Yes. It's Brown. After George died, she married Michael Brown. So it's Brown. pause Who's that young man who goes cycling with Murray? Jim Yes. What's his name? Gilmour. Jim Gilmour. Yes. That's it. Puzzled So what's that got to do with Gillian? Blank look Change of subject Is the iPad charged? We could watch the wedding on Thursday, as Gillian sent me the details.. The what? The iPad. Is it charged? I don't have an iPad. Brings the iPad through to the kitchen....... This iPad. Oh. That thing. Is that what it's called? Yes. I'll set it up so we can watch the wedding. It's to be outside. That's ok. It can be anywhere. We will be in here watching it inside. No recognition of understanding. I wont be able to use that thing. That's why I'm doing it. I can do it for you. Remember that feeling you used to get when to TV stopped transmitting for the night, and...
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Deteriorating

Not me. Well maybe me? Ok. Probably me! Not what I had in mind though. It's been a hard summer for everyone, having gone through national lockdown, then the complex re-opening of the country, and now the dreaded "second-wave". Work has been grey, with a few black and white spots along the way and the garden hasn't seen so much care for years........well there was nothing else we were allowed to do. Couldn't travel, shop, visit family, go to the pub.......just dig the garden.  Mum has suffered more than most over the summer, and more recently. Her memory is shot and her living skills are going fast. Not being allowed out must be tough, and not at all how she had planned her old age. No Jim to tend to her every whim, and long days (and its only October). So many reflections of Alex as he went into his final months and weeks. Has she eaten? Has she washed? Has there really been no-one over the door all day? Does she know how to work the oven? What day is it? Is it lu...
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Back to the front (line)

Today is Wednesday. It is sunny, and windy and raining and warm and cold and spring in Scotland. Makes a change from the Fort William version: Today is Wednesday. It is raining. or the Thurso version: Today is Wednesday. It is windy. Things seemed a little too quiet today. Wearing our face masks and gloves (and plastic aprons if a patient gets too close) we are managing to keep people away. So what next? Are people really getting it? It rained this afternoon, so that made a difference. Mum back to asking where dad is today (not for the first time). Not sure if that's just where her head is, or a missing link from her brethren teaching. She can't quite understand the body, soul, spirit divide and it kind of sums up some of the issues within the simplistic "the bible says" concept when we focus on a small chunk of text. Maybe we will go over it again tomorrow. Boris is still in ICU
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Waiting for ..........

I'm not sure if Godo will turn up tomorrow, nor do I know who he/she was nor why anyone was waiting for him/her, assuming Godo was a person, and not an event or an inanimate object. I don't suppose it would be too hard to find out, but that's for another day. Today is limbo day. All the logistics organised, and time on my hands. It's hard to piece together the memories, and maybe that's for another day. But if I was to summarise Dad's life it might go something like........ Born in Standburn, on 30th July 1927. George V was on the throne at the time, and the PM was someone called Stanley Baldwin, (sandwiched between two stints of a Lossie loon, Ramsay MacDonald). More importantly, Newcastle United won the first division that year......not sure if it's happened since? I'm sure he told us he was about 6 when they moved to Fife. Well. to Puddledub near Auchtertool, to be exact. I think it may have changed over the last 86 years. https://www.puddledub.c...
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Stuff and simplicity

Looks like we could have a funeral on Friday. COVID-19 is playing silly buggers with this so no hymns to pick, no pictures to put on orders of service, no cup of tea and sausage rolls to prepare.....just a handful of lonely souls round a six foot hole in the ground. But maybe the simplicity of it is appropriate for a self effacing humble man who never looked for recognition Update: 2pm Friday 3rd April confirmed. So only the who's who to finalise. Mum in a better mood today now that she doesn't have any decisions to make. Both boys coming, so it will be a home grown funeral.
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